Im pretty much in the same situation.

I met my ex when we were in grad school. It was around the end of winter when he asked me out. He was my first relationship. He expressed his concern that there would be little time left in school (3 months until we both will graduate) but he will try his best to make me happy during our time together. I agreed with him and expected this would be a short fling.

Fast forward to the next 8 months, we were still happy together. I have fallen for him deeper that I would expect. The only dilemma we faced was: what we gonna do after graduation. He was the citizen of the country so he had no issue to stay. My situation was more complicated as I am international and I was still on a student visa which would expire at the end of the year. Seeking a job in the country would be much harder for me because of the visa thing. Even if I did get one, it would not be an amazing job as I would get in my home country as I need to compete with the locals.

He said that if I decided to move back, then it would be the best for us to stay as ‘best friends’. That we could still talk to each other without falling out. Rationally, I agreed with him. Doing long distance would just postpone all the pains because we both would get busy and it would be better to end it on good terms. Although a part of my heart hoped that he would change his mind and didnt give up on us, but then my brain told me this is for the best. Even if I chose to stay and work on not-so-great job, the struggle to live in that situation would put a strain on me and I wouldnt be happy anyway. He himself is also unstable and needs to work on his career as well...

Now Im into 3 months since I moved back. It was one of the hardest moment of my life. There were so much pain and I need to keep my shits together because I already started working. Be able to talk to him makes it even harder to move on. I think going no contact would be much easier, but then I think it is so unfair to just unfriend with someone you care so much about, just because you couldnt be together with them. I do deeply hope that if someday the timing is right and our paths cross again, we might fall for each other again. But that is just wishful thinking. I must carry on my life and try my best to achieve my dream without depending on him.

Reading your story just made me related so much. Please know that you are not alone. Hang in there, it will get better.

Sorry for typos, I type on the phone.