First red flag. How many previous sexual partners each of you has had, has nothing to do with being "dirty." You are both allowed to have sexual interest and act on it safely. Or on the flip side, choose not to act on it. This shows a level of immaturity that is going to make it difficult to communicate about sex.
I've been honest and have told her there's nothing wrong with being curious about sex, Its a perfectly normal thing to be curious. To my understanding she's only had 2 partners, one that ended up forcing her to do things she didn't want and another one that she didn't feel comfortable with but they never did anything according to her.
And yes, I know there's a level of immaturity which I thought comes from her previous sexual interactions being negative ones. I could be wrong on that and if you know more then please let me know.
Second red flag. No random person is just gonna grab you by the face and lay one on you mid conversation about your boyfriend's sexual past. Side note: not her information to share.
There was a pre-established romantic interest here. She felt safe talking and confiding in this person. You know what you do when someone leans in for a kiss you didn't ask for? Stop it. Look away, say no. Dude isn't a stealthy ninja, they're a creep. And she apparently can't make that distinction either.
Also not sure why you buried this under your own guilt and shame. This breach in trust is way worse than you saying you had multiple sexual encounters when you actually only had one. Blame shift much?
I have been thinking about that, but she met this guy two days ago, she also has a tendency to talk to anyone when she feels overwhelmed but its been almost none existence after we started dating, this was the first time it had happened after such a long time.
I also agree that the guy is a creep and I've been planning on talking to her about it but right now it doesn't seem like a good idea. I also wasn't trying to blame shift. We both fucked up in that sense and I know it.
This isn't something you're imagining. While you absolutely should have been truthful, anyone should be able to see where this pressure and stress comes from to be considered "normal." For trying to fit in.
There's nothing else you can do but let her decide what she wants to do moving forward. I wouldn't waste energy on this relationship, but that's a decision you have to make.
Thank you, I know what you are saying is true and I agree, but I'm also not one to give up that easily, people are complicated and I do still have feelings for her so I'll probably work on the relationship until there really is no hope for return.
I think we are both mature enough to a certain to understand what is happening and just handle emotions differently, I don't like the co-worker kiss and I've told her that last night, if she actually does have feelings for him then I won't be staying. There's no point in maintaining a relationship when only one person is doing all the work.
A relationship is a two way street, not a one way. I hope I explained myself correctly, if not let me know what you need clarification on.