However, I cannot for some reason seem to stop thinking about him. It's been really hard for me, and I don't know how to stop. It's not even that I want to get back together with him or break them up (that's not the case), I just want to talk with him, and it's really starting to wear on my mental health.
The simple solution: think on something else.
I know that sounds like I’m being obnoxious, but I’m not. You are so focused on this relationship and thinking about very nuance and dynamic, it’s taking up all your time and energy. All of it. Of course you can’t let anything go! It’s like a dog on a bone.
Now, I'm in my little hometown with nothing to do and my job is not stimulating and I have all this free time to think.
Ouch, and that adds fuel to the fire. Unlimited free time on top of a long invested personal saga. Then you’re around all these familiar things that trigger other memories and moments. Yeah, this is going to be difficult, but my advice remains: think on something else.
Instead of viewing this like a breakup and feelings, view this relationship like you’re an addict and he’s cocaine. Addicts get these same type of all-consuming thoughts and emotions, and they are not able to release from this prison and torture until they give in and take a hit (or in your case, talk to him or get his attention in some way). Addicts, like yourself, can train your brain to think on other things in the midst of an attack or surge of emotion. Some basic tips:
Wear a rubber band. When you realize you’ve been thinking about him, flick it against your wrist. This will help to start associating thinking about him with a physical pain, and allowing you to pick another topic in your head.
Start focus on your breathing. When you are in the midst of thinking of him and can’t get out of your own head, focus on inhaling and exhaling. That’s it. Think inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Omg i can’t believe he just messaged me on FB and he’s such a.. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Oh that car looks like the one we looked at once and we got into that stupid fight.. Inhale.. exhale.. get it?
Support a cause. Now is a better time than most for you to find a cause you believe in to support. Is there a presidential candidate you feel strongly about? Join a grassroots campaign. Volunteer at an animal shelter. Start training for a marathon and raise money. Find something you could care about as much if not more than him. Read to orphans. Babysit for free for military families. Do laundry for old people. Find something you can do.
You can do this. This does not and will not define you. How you end up coping with it will.