I don't know about you being pretentious or everything people are calling you because WE HAVE NEVER MET, sonething everyone else is neglecting to realize. I do have to say it is kinda shocking that you are JUST NOW realizing all these things about someone you had a kid with... Irregardless, the things you described about your wife set off huge red flags for me. If she is willfully ignorant about basic things and refuses to acknowledge this to protect her pride, then that is not actually indicative of being less intelligent. The genuinely "stupid" people I have met don't try to hide the fact that they may be less intelligent because they don't realize it. In that sense your wife is self aware and intelligent enough to know she is different and missing something other people have. Most importantly, the fact that she outright lies about her past attempts to keep a job as well as how she ouright pretends to know more than she does by faking participation in conversations would be extremely worrying for me, as well as her complete disinterest in trying to learn things. To me, that sounda like more than a learning disability, potentially something else could be going on mentally: i.e. some sort of disorder. If that's the case, then this is who your wife is, she literally cannot change this and the best she can do is get help and therapy to come to terms with how she is different and make peace with it, to stop lying and pretending she is something she is not. Which she should be fine with, she sounds like she has an incredible capacity for noticing emotional nuances when interacting with people. Long story short, my advice would be to evaluate whether you could be coming off as pretentious or condescending to your wife, which would only make things worse. Secondly, your wife should see a doctor who specializes in mental health issues, or even just a therapist, with the idea that at the very least she could get help to stop lying to people about who she is and just accept herself. You guys sound like you both could do to make some changes and that's cool, life is all about trying to improve and be better. Good luck!