Hey mate Kutgw!

I think it’s funny. My personal highlights:

“The one who pretends to see ghosts in order to try and claim people’s inheritance” “Tell Lisa to tell Simone...” “No ice, no lemon, no electrolytes” “Osama bin laden was gorgeous, look how that turned out” “Well he just watched” (about her son being too young to use the swing) “I’m a gay man Ian I don’t sleep with hooker waitresses” “What a small (glancing at Ian’s crotch area) world!”

I do agree with the other comment saying that the opening scene is too predictable. I didn’t really find it that funny either, but it did a good job of establishing the sexuality of the character and establishing that he is single/looking/not finding anyone. The end scene also gives a slight payoff, and to be honest I would probably read the next episode to see what happens.

One comment I would make is that I think you have some missed opportunities where you have a funny situation/concept but the dialogue isn’t that funny.

For example where Ian is talking about Disneyland and having Jasmin and Jafar cutting him loose when he got his hand stuck - it’s funny but doesn’t really make sense. I think if you could pick better Disney characters and a more believable situation that suited those characters specifically then you could get extra humour. For example:

IAN Fun? I had more fun getting my trousers stuck in that ride at Disney (reaction from Mum) and having to run back to the car park naked, scurrying between dwarves for cover. Gaston couldn’t stop laughing.”

The other example is that Brian, the guy he goes on the date with, is a taxidermist. I don’t get why Ian asks him if the industry is thriving..is he being sarcastic? The way it reads, Ian should be relieved that the guy doesn’t “do” animals as was implied. For example something like

BRIAN (Straight faced) Taxidermy.

IAN (Laughing) Right! When you said you “do” animals I thought you meant you.. DO animals.

BRIAN oh no, no! (beat) Not anymore.

I enjoyed it keep up the good work mate.