So a short while ago I met a girl who makes me feel awesome most of the time, and I really feel she challenges me. However this isn't the case the whole time. I fear this might get longwinded.
So we met online through a dating agency, after spending nigh on 48 hours talking constantly we started to date, and it went really well. We talked in depth about ourselves and each other. Shortly after new years she told me she wanted us to be exclusive (this wasn't an issue for me as I'm never anything but exclusive) so I agreed.
Then come February after spending a few weekends together she started to cool off, tell me she didn't want to see me. Knowing that we'd seen a lot of each other I agreed that ok we should cool off. This is where it gets weird though, she since then has swung from demanding that I am there right now to not wanting to see me, these things can happen in a matter of minutes. My issue is that she lives 40 miles away from me and it's not a simple case of just 'popping over' especially after I lost my job.
I will also throw in another couple of fun facts. She is recently out of a physically abusive relationship, I didn't know how recently until just a few weeks ago. The ex moved to another country about 8 months before we met, but they hadn't 'broken up' until about 2 weeks before we met. She doesn't feel like she's had any closure from this.
Because of the previous relationship, also, she seems scared to tell me things. I will say something like 'I wish I didn't have to go home' and she will look at me, start to say something similar and stop. But when she stops she completely clams up, tells me that she was about to make a big mistake and often just asks me to leave right now.
Dating her is hard, almost anywhere we go reminds her of him. Her job is very hard at the moment so shr spends a lot of time in perpetual depression too.
Now reading back over this I would tell myself to give it up and just not do it anymore, but I have listed all the bad bits. Now for the counter argument
She makes me feel amazing, just seeing her makes me smile. There's a strong sexual attraction there. We have a lot in common and when we're together and it's good, it's just heavenly. Recently we took a trip to a reasonably famous motor museum and finished with dinner in a country pub before driving home, she told me it was the best date she's ever been on. Likewise I recently invited her to a barbecue and tree felling party my sister had, she spent the entire night nuzzling into me as we watched the fire.
I was single for quite a while before we met, as I have explained she wasn't. I don't want this to be one sided, which is how it feels sometimes. I know that she's going to be harbouring strong feelings of resentment towards men after her ex, but despite all the trouble she keeps coming back, and I can only take it as a good sign.
Ok I fear that this has become a ramble. If you can get your head around it please let me know if you think I'm labouring falsely for this.