Lemme straighten something out for you:

I've spoken to a few women in my life who have been pregnant namely some work colleagues and my sister and they say that these are are pregnancy hormones and it's tough but I have to deal with it just like other husbands have been doing for millennia.

Other husbands haven't been in the process of making the most financially important decisions of their lives. Here are two facts that you need to sear into your brain and make as important as breathing, eating, and sleeping:

1) Your pregnant wife, as admitted by yourself and others, is EXTREMELY hormonal/emotional/irrational.

2) People in emotional/irrational states tend to make abso-fucking-lutely TERRIBLE financial decisions.

My initial advice is to hold off on buying a house. However...

I've tried speaking to her about this stuff (let's maybe hold off for a bit/can we get it after the pregnancy/emotion and house buying don't mix maybe/what do you think about both of is talking to someone else about this?/etc) but every time it results in her bawling, accusing me of hating her

You need to stop letting her take charge. You need to man up. You need to be the rational one right now, you need to be the levelheaded thinker. I'm not addressing all the abuse stuff, which is fucked beyond belief. But that stuff can honestly be addressed by counseling. No one is going to be able to fix your 30 year mortgage with a shitty APR if you sign for it. So I need you to listen to me very carefully: Do not sign any financial agreement you do not think is a good idea.

No matter how many plates she throws or how much she cries, if you think it is a bad idea financially, don't fucking sign it.