First of all, best damn title I've ever seen.
Secondary to that, I honestly don't know how to explain this on a personal note, so I'm not even going to try...im also a little hammered and relying on autocorrect...but my fiance and I have this kind of relationship. She does what I say, when I say, and it's because she wants to. She loves it, and I know she does because she tells me all the time, and I trust her to tell me the truth. If you're feeling like there's a disparity, just ask! This kind of relationship isn't for everyone,and communication is more critical here than anything else I can think of. Aftercare, especially, is vital.
An example: were both fairly new to a relationship with a clear power disparity. We started out pretty vanilla, and eventually worked into me realizing that I want to control her, and she wants me to use her. We agreed very early on that there are a few lines that we absolutely do not cross, and anal is one of them. But one time...oh god that one time...she asked for it, and I gave it to her. And it got pretty savage, because frankly, hot DAMN was it a turn on. After the fact? I walked in on her crying in the shower...think of the scene in Casino Royale where Bond finds the girl distraught over seeing someone killed. I had no conception of what aftercare was, so I just kinda held her a bit because it seemed like the right thing to do, and she absolutely collapsed into me to the point where I had to carry her to bed. If I hadn't have done that, I'm fairly certain we would have either taken a break from the fantasy sex, or a break in the more ominous sense.
The point is this: when it comes to this kind of relationship, people have this weird delineated view of how things go down. They assume that because someone wants to be dominated or do the dominating, it is a template for the rest of their day as well. When you two are not explicitly engaged in sex or playtime, you go back to normal. If you're not feeling to great afterwards, like you've been used or (metaphorically) abused, it's his job to grab you and hold you and remind you that you're his girlfriend and partner, not some kind of fuck puppet. Yet at the same time, it's not super obvious to some, bevause they get so into the power sense (like I did) that it unintentionally bleeds over.
His job is to hold you...but it's your job to let him know you want to be held.