I don't think it's lame, even though I worry about others thinking the exact same thing about stuff I experience.

I think it's kinda beautiful. Seemingly simple things can be and are such a big deal when you're struggling to feel like you have a place in the world, imo you crying about the experience that you achieved only solidifies that.

You took a genuinely meaningful step today, it's not just about physical distance but also about perspective. Depression often takes root in stopping caring about yourself, and feeling more and more comfortable with that over time. I can't speak to your situation, but for me steps like this were huge. Not because they were physically or logistically hard, but because I needed to care about myself enough to even see the value in doing them in the first place.

What's been even more huge, and more difficult for me, is sticking at stuff like this. If I could give one piece of advice, it would be to try to keep going there, even after the newness has faded. And to keep doing new things like this, when you feel it's within you.

Even if you don't, it's not about beating yourself up for failing, because you haven't. It's about remembering how today made you feel, and keeping up the efforts to get that feeling again, and inducting these self-care moments in to something approaching a habit.