If you were 18 it'd be different. You're old enough to make decisions about life. I have a relative (I'm being vague intentionally) who went out with and married someone more than 15 years older. The only difference is my relative is a guy and the older person is a woman. She already had kids and divorced, he didn't intend to have kids. It's worked and they've been married a long time. I also could give other examples that involve friends. My point is I have some experience even if it's not my own. A fellow redditor made some good points against. And they're worth considering. However those points of view only matter if you believe they apply to you. In any relationship one day one of you may have a health issue first and may need to care for the other. The only thing is does it happen sooner rather than later. There's also a other way to see it. Do you want to abandon what you have to be with someone who is close to your age but who may not have their life together enough to actually have a stable life with? Of course you could slowly build yourselves up together, but maybe before you do they jump ship. He's older an more than likely by now is at an age where he knows what he wants and once he has it he's happy and content. He's unlikely to want to change things and or feel he's got more people to know before he's ready to finally settle down because he's already at that point now. Also he's beyond the stage of figuring out his life so isn't going to jump from job to job and latching on to living with his parents for stability. And I'm sure isn't going to choose his friends over you in any situation. Again he's past that 20-something stage. My point is while there are down sides there are also practical plus sides as well. In a time when race and country, distance and economic background shouldn't matter, age shouldn't either. As long as you're mature enough at your age to be able to understand what it means long term and you want the same things with that person then it's all good as far as I see it. One day we're all going to be gone and 100 years from now nobody will ever remember us. As long a what you're doing isn't hurting anyone or yourself don't worry about what someone else thinks. And for the record, anyone who is negative about your relationship should be talked to politely. Meaning when they say something be polite, but say something like "well, all I know is in happy and it works for us". And get off the topic. Basically you heard them, but you disagree. What I he was a different race? Would the conversation need to happen? Again we're talking about you being over 21 and together with him for a year and a half plus now living together. He's not some older guy looking for a fling. So if they said "you know, he's a different race, he won't mix well with your friends, family, won't be accepted by your parents, people will stare, they'll think he just wants you because you're different". Isn't that pretty much how it seems? Yes maybe they're looking out for you. But if they're close friends and still saying negative things they should stop. But you also don't want to be ride and lose those friends. They're just being unhelpful. You're past the stage where people should question. This is a valid relationship now due to it's length and the living situation and how you're both happy. Just as his age shouldn't matter now not should his race if it was a topic of conversation. If those issues were issues for you, it's yours to work out. If the idea of how different his stage of life might be in 20+ years bothers you that's different. But that's for you to consider and not for anyone else like your friends to keep bringing up. Always keep in mind he's taking the risk. He's 40. If you broke up in a few years he'd be closer to 50 and you'd be still in your 20s ad at an age where you could still easily find someone and settle down and have kids. His options will be less and more than likely he would be choosing from people who are divorced and in his age range who have kids to support. You could say therefore he's taking the risk, you might end it later and have plenty of options where his will be even less as time it's on. My point being while some might think he's just some older guy I think he took a chance and the risk is more on his end long term. If your happy that's all that matters. Don't allow others to ruin what you have.