Of course you're NTA, your bf is. Like everyone else has been saying and speaking from experience... giving birth is about you and your baby. The bf is secondary... seriously, giving birth is dangerous and fucking exhausting. You have every right to keep family in the dark, until YOU are ready to share your baby. When I was giving birth to my first, I had 24 hr labour and then an emergency c section, my mother (bless her) was there waiting for me after I was done... however, while they were wheeling me into the room after surgery, she was able to hold my baby first... before me. Once I came to, I was heartbroken. Those first few hours are precious and having family all up in your shit is not needed. Tell bf to kick rocks. You are not selfish.