I appreciate all these responses. I agree that I will stop trying for and expecting a role they clearly don’t want me to have. I will also stop with the financial support- at least for unnecessary things.

For those asking-

These have been issues for a long time and it is the only source of our arguments.

He is a good and kind and talented man who makes me laugh. He does earn less than I do and we do keep our accounts separate. He also does most of the laundry and sends me off to work every morning with breakfast. (I cook dinner bc I love cooking.) He is not lazy- we just view parenting very differently.

I get that I need to change my expectation of being a co-parent and I will stop financing frivolous things.

I also think a lot of folks have made sense re: anxiety issues or ADHD with my SD. Upon doing research, what I saw as stubborn laziness could be anxiety disorders. So, I will discuss that with my husband and see where it goes.

Thanks everyone!