thank you - i appreciate that. i also suffer from these things - they are part of a larger auto-immune/neurological disease that will shorten my life considerably. in certain ways i have been like OP in a past life and things only got better when i cancelled the pity party and took full responsibility over my health and my behaviour. yeah i was harsh. but life is harsh, depression and anxiety is harsh. walking on eggshells and avoiding confrontation at all costs just does not work. i don’t really care if that upsets most anonymous internet strangers. OP put himself out there in this sub - hopefully he gleans something from all the feedback.