AITA for getting upset by my girlfriends reaction after I gave her $1,100?

Hard YTA.

It is very clear you felt you had bought her gratitude and a loving, touchy-feely reaction.

It's also very clear that she recognized that as well, because as soon as you tried to hold this gift over her head to extort affection from her she sent it back immediately. She 100% understood that you tried to buy a reaction from her, and she immediately sent it back to you so you could not extort her.

I am rolling my eyes so hard at "she got super defensive." My dude, way to tailor the narrative. You tried to extort her affections, she saw right through you, she took no shit from you, she immediately sent you your money back. That's not super defensive. That's having a backbone and being unwilling to accept extortion.

Let me tell you how this probably went down for her:

She's struggling with money. Out of the blue her bf calls her at work and tells her he sent $1100. She's smiling and happy because that's how she's supposed to act, but underneath that is a fission of unease in her gut. Does this gift have strings? She decides to assume it does not.

So she comes over to your place and acts normal, just a little more distant. No hug or kiss because she was just sent $1100 and needs to take things slow, evaluate, and assess. That's a large chunk of money and she wants to be sure you aren't gonna suddenly attatch strings to this gift.

And then you do. Suddenly you're making demands on her and asking for affection and tying it to the money. All at once it is horribly clear that this was not a gift, that this money is coveted in strings and expectations.

Her brain goes "I knew it. Nope, fuck this." Abd she immediately sends you the money back -- because if you haven't paid her, you cannot make demands on her.

Frankly, I am stunned she is even still your girlfriend. I have absolutely broken up for this kind of thing. Hell, when my parents pulled this on me for a car I told them no and went totally no contact for years.

You should not try to buy people, OP. You should not try to extort people, OP. And whether you want to admit it or not, that's what you just tried to do.

/r/AmItheAsshole Thread