“I do 100 things to make everything go right, I ask him to do one thing and he can’t even do it”

This pissed me off. If you think that way, or have thought that way, get off your high horse. OP directly states that he cleaned his spaces, among others. So no, she’s not “taking care of everything as per usual” - we also have no information as to the normal distribution of chores. Unless your partner is literally doing nothing, this is a ridiculous thought, and in that case, you shouldn’t be with them.

Maybe wife shouldn’t leave aggressive notes around? OP also states that it’s been a long, long time since he got grease on the hand towels anyway… so it’s not like this is a recurring problem at this point. Dumb ass thing to leave a note for.