NTA.

Parenting is difficult you seem to be trying to educate the best you can.

Ryker is for sure dealing with a lot of emotions and needs help with those emotions. He is probably picking up on the fact that his sister doesn't seem to care about her actions and that is bothering him (just a guess). He probably shouldn't go to his dance, but on the same token neither should Gianna.

If you have seriously caught Gianna more than once making racists jokes, but still letting her go to the dance then she is not getting any real consequences. I am not saying you need to be a tyrant, but words don't seem to be enough.

I was raised in the South and racism was and is a hot topic. I was raised to be fair to everyone regardless of sexual orientation/race/belief system. If you are an AH....then you are an AH no matter what.

If the Gianna racism issue continues it could get her into a lot of trouble at school and you will be dealing with a bigger problem.

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Good luck!