I'm going to share my experience, which is different, but imo still valid.

My family is complicated. My dad was authoritarian, and mom just wasn't a great parent. They tried, but didn't know how to try the "right way".
My sister has been diagnosed with low empathy and narcissism. This made navigating the world difficult for her, and lead to a lot of conflict with others. She felt like she was a victim to everyone, and was admittedly victimized by some. I didn't have these traits, so life was easier for me.

From the day I was born, she was jealous. She didn't like the attention I got and wanted to be an only child again. This lead to lots of fighting as kids. I desperately wanted her to like me, but stopped after years of rejection. Thus began the catty teenage years.
My relationship with my father was easier, and she held that against me. It simply wasn't fair to her.

We were not close at all, untill I moved out at 18 and started to recognize some toxic traits in my parents.

This lead to us really bonding over our shared childhood difficulties. Comparing observations. Going back to fights we had, and understanding where we both went wrong as a result of parenting, or lack thereof. Realizing that, while I might have had it easier on the surface, I was just as damaged as her.

This has lead to tremendous growth for both of us, as we were both responsible for our behavior, despite me being more of a "golden child". We are now incredibly close and while it took a lot of work, struggles and a psychologist, we are better for it.

That's just to say, sometimes relationships are more complex than victim/abuser. Sometimes people remember things through bitter lenses when reality is often more messy and nuanced.
Taking off these lenses can be great, but you have to be mentally prepared to unpack a lot of baggage before you can see clearly.