YTA. I am Dutch and my wife of 7 years is from a Roman language country. My wife tried to learn some Dutch by doing some courses and even passed the nationalization Dutch proficiency test, and she doesn’t speak a word of proper Dutch now. She doesn’t really put in any effort anymore. I have several Italian friends living in NL that also don’t speak a word. I completely understand why.

(1) Dutch is freaking hard to learn. It has weird pronunciations, word inversions, grammer rules that Dutch ppl themselves don’t even understand and then there are a ton of exceptions that you just have to memorize. (2) learning Dutch is completely pointless as almost everyone in the Netherlands speaks a very high level of English, making it the de facto second language of NL. Also, Dutch people will not even bother speaking bad Dutch to someone trying to learn and will just immediately switch to English when they notice someone doesn’t speak flawless Dutch. (3) Dutch has extremely little use, as it is hardly spoken outside of NL and Belgium. (4) yes it is an ugly language.

She already lived in the Netherlands for three years before you started dating without her speaking any word of Dutch. What would make you think she would start to learn it now? If that was going to be a deal breaker you should have said it up front.