So I was married to an autistic woman who is the mother of my autistic daughter. Neither agrees with you. (Ex is not a redditor and daughter isn't comfortable putting herself out there yet, but they're fine with me sharing their thoughts.) They frankly find it to be ableism. My daughter observed that she's better at "being polite" than her neurotypical younger brother (and she's right).

This isn't about looking someone in the eyes or needing to stim while listening to a talk. It's about the basic shit everyone learns, autistic or NT, in a specific setting. Moreover, this is pretty obvious to them, who pointed out they're pretty good already at categorizing interactions and knowing when somebody hands you a drink or a menu or a gift you just say "thank you" and it's pretty easy to memorize. "These are easy," my ex told me.

Also, both are medically and professionally diagnosed. Like it or not, there are a ton of "self-diagnosed" autistic people on reddit and other platforms; so I feel comfortable putting that out there. The actual autistic people I know personally (and I know a bunch of them) think this is NTA territory in this circumstance.