NAH

I give this judgement after looking back at my own loss. We loss our baby at one month old 12 years ago now. I'm so sorry that you know this pain. Everyone grieves differently and in their own time. Our process of grieving was a shitshow because my MIL as well. We have since reconciled and understood that everyone was emotional and greiving a baby is not something their is a handbook on. It's taboo. Your child isn't supposed to go before you. Your in laws should be more considerate of your pain but they might not know how to process the situation. They are hurting too in their own way. Wearing black is traditional mourning attire for them as white seems to be for you. Mocking the incense and such is a bit too far. They should've kept quiet there. Maybe they could've had their own service if they couldn't be respectful of the service you wanted. Give yourself space for now from the people that aren't helping you. It's going to be a long road so I hope you can talk this out with his family.