Since you mentioned your wife, I figured I'd give you my perspective: When I found out my husband was lying to me about drinking, I was devastated. I had asked him point blank if he was drinking and he said no. So, I figured, it must be some other health problem. He did a lot of damage to himself in a rather short period of time. He thought because he hadn't been a drinker for a lot of years (like his father), then he would be okay. He wasn't. Now, after a number of surgeries, he's doing much better, but I almost lost him. We're still working on relationship issues now.

Are you still drinking? I wanted to note that your experience with alcohol may differ from your father's. My husband's did and it nearly killed him (he thought his alcoholism would track with his father's and it didn't). I don't know if you've told your wife the truth, but my husband was trying go get his drinking under control secretly (so it would be as if it never happened--no harm, no foul) and instead it got worse. It really hurt that he didn't come to me for help. The being lied to was the worst. The fact that I had to confront him in order to learn the truth was horrible. If he'd have come to me for help, it would've gone a long way to healing. Plus I would've been able to help him sooner, not before it got really bad and scary.

I'm glad you have someone you can talk to, but see a doctor. Get the help that you need. (Also: because my husband's father was a recovered alcoholic, I thought he would avoid becoming one himself, since the experience of having an alcoholic father had been devastating for him as a child. But after decades of not drinking, he started and bit by bit became an alcoholic.)