My kids are 8 & 10, plus two SKs 9 &11 EOWE. I try to instill independence in mine, the SKs are definitely parented different at their moms.

My two have been able to make lunch, keep track of their belongings for school, and fold/put away their laundry since ~1st grade?

The SKs we’ve been working on getting them to the same place over the last few months and they can do it now. All of them can handle getting their dishes in the dishwasher, taking care of their laundry, and cleaning up their toys when asked.

As far as independent play, the girls (10 & 11) and better at this. The boys are not proactive and need suggestions to stray out of video game land.

None of them are observant and helpful without prompting yet, but will gladly help if asked to help bring in groceries etc.