I wouldn't even give him that or anything else. If he's the way you describe and you're a very nice, guilt ridden on his behalf because you're an empathetic person, I've been in your shoes with my first kid, and I realized after speaking to a mom who went through same thing and the guy eventually got his claws in their son and convinced kid mom was terrible with heaps of suave sociopathic manipulation. ... that I too was mistaking HIS "striving to do right" for what was actually an obsession to gain back control over kid and i. We weren't human to him, that's why he abused and lost his rights. We were property that he thought I had no right or say over.
Don't give him anymore info. Don't take his calls. You want to know when you do? When he leaves a voice mail that says, "I'd like to know if you can come to my therapists office for a meeting with us, Yada logistics."
Sure he can see his kid, in 18 years AFTER kid makes that decision.
You ARE being too nice and it's only going to sabotage YOU in the end. I HATED getting told it was my own fault from being nice. But, it was.
that's just my sort of balls to the wall advice. I do hope you situation is different, and I'd love for my advice to be improper. Just passing on advice given to me by mom who didn't fare well for being so nice. My ex stopped calling after about 6 months after i stopped humoring his superficial attempt that were really more attempts to get me to do all the work for him just so he could get anther foothold to make kid and I miserable. That was 6 years ago. Haven't heard a peep from him since. He actually became successful in a health profession, I recently heard from old mutual friends. Still have heard no word.
Maybe one day. But I said straightup, until I hear the above invitation, expect nothing from me. I'm done doing your work for you, and my child and I are not objects readily at your disposal. You do the work to get kid if the work of having a kid is what you find rewarding.
watch out for, people like this look at kids as one more resource to exploit others with. Sounds like he's exploiting kid now to get to you. I'd cut contact and move on. He's abused you in past, if he doesn't show remorse, I'd go NC asap.