I was 22 when I got pregnant. Her dad and I had been very off again on again and didn't mesh very well. We were broken up for a month when he showed up at one of shows, we got drunk, and had sex. This is an issue for me because I'm pretty fucking sure it was date rape and he on purpose didn't use a condom. We didn't talk until I found out I missed my period. I kept my kid and we decided to try and make things work. I had a complicated pregnancy, was put on bed rest at 7 months and ended up dropping out of college with 20 credit hours left. We were broke as fuck and he was emotionally abusive and cheated all the time. When my daughter was about 6 months old, he got really sick. We went to 19 different specialists, baby in tow, before they figured out it was cancer. He was sick with chemo and surgeries for 3 years. I caught him in 2 emotional affairs during that time. My whole life was taking care of a kid who I felt like I had no idea what I was doing with and this sick, hateful man. I ended up having to get marinated for panic disorders because of him. Once he was all the way well, things got so much worse. We did therapy, he got scary and would scream at me while going 90+ MPH on the way home. When kiddo was 5 we split.

Life has gotten so much better. We split custody 50/50. It's tough. I don't think he's the best dad but aside from the variety of girlfriends he brings into her life he's a lot better. I'm back in school. I'm happier by far. I've been with my SO for 3 years now. Kiddo loves my SO, and I love his kiddo (but his ex is a whole next level of mess.)

I lost myself for sure for a very long time. I had no friends with kids. I work as a tattoo artist and live in a very uptight community, so I was alienated. It was fucking hard. But the other side is so much better.