I think you've really hit the nail on the head. Girls and boys with aspergers tend to have different outcomes due to differing social expectations. Girls have social pressure placed on them that can be damaging but can also prepare us to some extent for social life in the NT world. The School of Hard Knocks, as it were. Boys have fewer social pressures, so may be less damaged by fewer negative social interactions, but may also be less prepared to face the social NT world. The "strong, silent type", or the "brilliant, absent-minded professor" are both acceptable social roles (caricatures, really) that society has created for males, for which there are no female equivalents. So girls are forced to learn to get along from a young age, and many of us do adapt reasonably well. But can we ever really be ourselves? Do we ever truly fit in? I'd argue, no.

This is not a pissing contest as to who has it worse. Neither sex has it worse; the experiences are just different due to the different social norms imposed upon us; many girls may adapt slightly better, but many boys may have more freedom to be themselves.

I also understand that the above is a gross generalization. Many ASD boys are bullied by their peers and face social trauma, while many girls find acceptance for their quirks. But in my experience, it rarely works out that way. I suppose I'm slightly biased as an aspie female who has been bullied/ostracized by NT girls/women since the age of 4.

And I agree that it would be excellent to have more of these discussions in an inclusive sub. Way to be the change! You seem very sweet and thoughtful. This whole thread is great, actually.