Yeah... I only relatively recently realized it was a problem. I remember being up all night thinking about how it was affecting my life and all the reasons I should stop. I found myself constantly rationalizing reasons why I SHOULDN'T stop instead. I found an article on the Cocaine Addiction Cycle that really helped me take a step back and understand how my behavior is being affected. Even though I'm not quite ready to make any changes, I think it helped me start getting used to the idea that I don't do coke because it "helps me handle my stressful new job" or "be more social" or "deal with my anxiety" - I do it because I'm self-destructive. Idk /end coke rant lol