My older brother is an ESFJ, and sometimes it is really difficult to deal with him. My mother (ENFP) is very open-minded and progressive, and she brought us up to be like that, so my brother really isn't really too much of an ESFJ. However, our relationship has been rather...strained, over the years. When I made him take the MBTI test, and he found out his personality type, he barely skimmed the page and did zero research on his type. I can't understand how he wouldn't want to learn about himself, but that's just classic ESFJ I guess. Not to mention his very narrow-minded views on obesity and health! Our relationship is getting much better though, and I'm trying to be kinder and more supportive. As for advice for you? When you have an argument with an ESFJ, I find it can be very tempting to "prod" them, to push them just to see how far they'll go (and to subsequently learn about them). Please, refrain from doing this (It's usually subconscious, and so much harder to reign in). Really, all I can say is make a conscious effort to be kind and understanding. I don't have much experience with ESFJ's, so do take my advice with a pinch of salt :)