None of that is remotely true. It is very easy to get into the military. Low ASVAB score? Are you serious right now? Their concept of "low" is below below-average on a good day.
Getting in is extremely easy for your average high school graduate. And the benefits they rain down on you for doing so are unreal. I was paid top dollar just to go to college for four years. I didn't need to work, but just having a part-time job on top of what they paid me put me at an above-average income. New computer, new car, trip to Europe, all on their dime. All while going to college.
Overweight? Forget it
Nonsense. You want me to rain down the pictures of all the fat guys I served with or who are still in?
Stop equating Marine infantry standards to the rest of the military.
Smoked weed recently? Forget it.
Nonsense. There's waivers for EVERYTHING. One of my former shipmates, now an O-4, was an admitted drug dealer, let alone user. Hasn't stopped his career one iota.
Hell, good luck finding anyone under 30 who hasn't tried weed.
Remember Katrina? My unit lived in two man tents for almost three months providing security among other things for New Orleans.
And......? That's called having a job. 99.99999% of the military isn't going to experience that. Most will sit at a desk and push paper. But most people don't get free medical, dental, life insurance, a 4-year-degree-for-free after you leave the job and get paid on top of that, and so on.
And that's still not including signing bonuses. In 2007 one of my friends re-upped for $97K. Cold. Hard. Cash. And that came with insta-promotion to E-5. He'd been in for 2 years.
You're dramatically overstating how "super hard" the military is.
It's welfare. I worked ten times harder when I was shift managing a Pizza Hut than I ever did for a decade wearing a uniform. My god don't even get me started on the reserves. You want the government to hand you money to do literally nothing? Join the reserves. Once a month you watch a power point. Once a year you get an all-expenses-paid vacation to Long Island. The horror.