You make a good point regarding the drop-in thing. The gym we go to has a childcare center, one for older kids that includes fun, supervised activities (like basketball, foam pit, rock wall). It's possible to drop the boys off (they get a max of two hours) and I can just sit in the cafe they have or go to their spa (if in no mood to workout due to this super challenging pregnancy). I'm hoping SS just doesn't report to BM that they were in "daycare." I may just phrase going as "gym time."

SS is obviously very different than me, my children, and even his dad. I feel very sad for him because I feel like there is some barrier (be it BM, our house and new rules to adjust to, or just generally weird circumstances for a kid) to him forming a bond with all of us. He sort of sticks out like a sore thumb here, and when he's prohibited from going to the same camps and activities my kids go to, I think that just further divides us all. So this summer, when my kids come home from their Lego minecraft STEM camp (and SS loooooves Minecraft), this is going to make DH feel guilty, and he's going to whip out his Disneyland Dad nonsense. BM is really doing her son a disservice I think. And sometimes I think that's exactly what she wants- to further create a divide between SS and DH. Or maybe I'm looking into this too much and BM is just a miserable bitch?