I'm not misconstruing the words, I'm using what I've explicitly read from the APA including the DSM-V and my psychology text books. I'm not a social person, what your inner groups think about things is quite often lost on me.

"Gender" and "gender identity" are explicitly different and conflating them can cause issues, especially the "I identify as an attack helicopter" response. Most people outside of the trans communicate equate gender and sex, explaining that one is social and one is biological is quite easy. Then trying to explain that in some colloquial circumstances "gender" can mean "gender identity" but then in other less colloquial circumstances "gender" means exactly what I said it does would only confuse the hell out of them.

As for musical gender... I do admit, it does sound kind of... eeeh. But just because I think it sounds "eeeh" doesn't mean I'm going to invalidate someone's identity, especially considering how "eeeh" some of the ways I identify sound to other people.

This seems more like an emotional argument. "I'm not going to invalidate someone's identity" implies that I'm somehow being a bad person for saying that doesn't fit the definition of "gender". Again, I'm simply stated objective facts. It doesn't objectively fit the definition of "gender". This is not a matter of "right" and "wrong". It's a matter of word salad.

Words have meanings. "Gender" has meaning. If we just act like "gender" can mean absolutely anything then it essentially means nothing. If I ask you what your "gender" is you can give me anything from male to, as the transphobes would say, "attack helicopter".

This is why I don't conflate these words, because they inevitably lead to confusion which causes people to mock. If someone tells me their gender is like "c-flat" or something, I mean they can do what they want but I'm not going to recognize that as a legitimate gender.

It's exactly equivalent to asking me to recognize that a cat is actually a dog. This is not an emotional thing or a value judgement. I'm not saying any of these people are "bad" people. I'm saying the terminology is inconsistent and confusing and people constantly want to, just like you're doing now, jump to the conclusion that I have malicious intent simply because I want my language to actual mean something.

The definition of "transgender", for example, relies on the definition of "gender". If no one agrees on a definition of "gender" then when you say you're transgender I have no clue what that means! I don't get why now I'm suspected of malicious intent just for stating this.

I knew this would happen, too. People get so pissed about language.