As my username states, I am pretty much the walking definition of Foreveralone. I had very few friends in High school, was bullied and never had a friend of the female gender never mind a girlfriend. Now that I have moved away from home to attend University I have practically no one to talk to.
I tried to alleviate my loneliness by going the to gym, focusing on athletics. It took my mind off my loneliness. That and discovering the UFC plus Reddit ensured I had at least online communities to read about and talk to. I would commonly go through days without talking to anyone. At the beginning of this year, I discovered Twitch.com. That discovery filled a void in my loneliness. It made me felt I belonged. I I loved reading the chat and, for once, being inside on the joke. I loved watching tournaments and rooting for my team. I loved sharing jokes with the streamers and the chat. However, this grew into an addiction. I no longer wanted to goto lectures. Why goto lectures where no one gives a shit about me when you can enjoy your day browsing channels and chilling with chat?
My coursework suffered but I scraped by exam everytime by the thinnest of margin. However, I am probably not going to be as lucky this time. Tomorrow is my big day. My End of Year Medical exam is tomorrow, and I can hardly remember anything. I don't think I can squeeze out a pass this time. I am scared I will be forced to repeat this year again but the worst thing is, this will all have been my fucking fault. I did not study. I did not put the work in. However, the thought of having to repeat the shitty experience of this year with new class mates whose name I won't even know scares me. I desperately want to pass. Anyhow I am off to bed. The exam is tomorrow morning. Just wanted to rant here. I have no one else to talk to. Thanks for reading so far down.