You keep moving and FORWARD too! I know it's not easy esp with flashbacks and trauma. It's just there's only one record playing there unfortunately it's the Same Ole Story. If EVER Sincere efforts at Atonement and/or Reconciliation ARE made, they'll be SO Sincere that you'll KNOW IT, instinctively. (Because the WRONG way was chosen that any effort at the RIGHT way will be so glaringly noticable to you.) I can't STAND when parents do this sht. I'm a parent I know that none of that was handled CLOSE to correctly. Oh I'm sorry you had to experience any of it. I had an awful experience with a so called Adult at age ten, I'm very fortunate it wasn't family. But I felt your letter just the same. If and when... maybe Therapy. Will definitely and truly send a prayer and positive thoughts your way!