I have to agree with the majority of what you said. I'm not quite sure why you assumed I like sports and then explained how to make music with emotion. I said that I was a music major. Instrumental Performance if you would believe it, Classical Guitar. Maybe it's different in music, but I do know what it feels like to put passion/emotion into an art. You HAVE to feel it.

As a classical guitar major, we basically perform music that is already written. The job of a performer is to create emotional responses from the audience. If I hear a section of a piece as sort of sad or weepy, the only way I can portray that to the audience is to actually feel that emotion. If I want something to come across as creepy, I have to actually feel that emotion. If I want something to come across as lovely, I have to actually feel that emotion. If you cannot actually feel the emotion, the audience will not either. They might understand what you're going for, but a great performance will literally invoke the emotion.

Seeing my girlfriend express that emotion with someone else is just unsettling. We have spoken about it on two separate occasion. Both were multiple hour conversations but nothing has changed.

It's hard to have serious talks with her often because I try to make the most out of the limited time we have, and it's hard to bring up because I know she loves it.

I guess I was really just trying to gather advice on if asking to compromise was out of line. I don't want to lose her. I will try everything I can to make whatever work. The combination of the contact issue and the schedule issue make it hard though. To be honest the contact issue is a real problem with me, but I think the harder thing to swallow is the fact that the dance schedule basically comes first.

Before she started dancing, she was a figure skater. Basically did everything she could do in the sport, got all the tests done, teaches students etc. and she kind of got bored with it. She took up rock climbing with her girlfriends. They would go like twice a week for an hour or so after work. They kind of got out of that habit. Our "regular" week would consist of us going to work Mon-Fri and her teaching until 6:30 on Tues/Thurs. Most nights we would eat together and maybe go for a walk or the movie or what have you and then hang out and go to bed. Typical stuff. Since dance started, she dances from 5:30-8:30 Mon/Wed. 7-9 Tues/Thurs and then random times on Fridays and Saturdays. Then teaches on Sundays from 11-4. There's like no time for a relationship there. I do want her to be happy, but the dance thing has taken over her life and I'm basically just the boyfriend waiting at home to rub her back before she goes to sleep.

I wonder if asking her to stop competitively dancing is too much. I guess I can't even suggest a specific compromise. Maybe just tell her my feelings and ask if there's anything she would be willing to do to work on it. I just know that if she wants to continue competing, there's no way she can do it well (and she does everything she does well) with out committing more of her life than what I feel is necessary to have a relationship.

Thank you for reading and the informative post. I guess I'm just trying to talk it out anonymously until I see her tonight...