We live in a 1950's M/s Household and wrote the Modern Day 1950's M/s Household in Raven Kaldera's Paradigms of Power: Styles of Master/slave Relationships.
I'm a mod for two of the largest 1950's household groups on Fetlife. We've lived this way 24/7 for years and are quite in touch with the pulse of this particular kink.
For some reason, there are people who find our traditional household vulgar. The fact that my husband works, I stay home and cook, bake, clean, sew, and dote upon my husband, kids, and home is troublesome. In one sentiment, some naysayers assert that were both not kinky enough as well as somehow too extreme. It's unfortunate, and I do think much of it has to do with misunderstanding or lack of education.
The point being shouted over and over here is: but what about the children???
To that I say to you that what goes on in my bedroom is none of your, or my children's, business. Anything outside of the bedroom? They see kind and respectful, loving parents. Do other kinksters not understand the idea of discretion? Why do we assume those into needle play know not to beat their children but we don't?
Why, in your world, does the fact that I'm a stay at home mom (who is kinky with my husband) make you negatively assume about my political standing, my self worth, my opinion on spanking our kids (we don't, btw), and my intelligence as a woman, mother, wife, and slave?
To lump all of a niche kink into one umbrella based on two example is pretty shitty, you must admit. What if we lumped all men into one umbrella based on a few of the rapists or molesters? That'd feel pretty awful I would imagine.
For you or anybody reading, I'm happy to forward a free copy of our essay on the 1950's household style to read in full for educational purposes. Just send me a message. Here's a few general ideas that I have found in this post I'd like to clear up:
A majority have chosen this lifestyle because in our relationships, it so happens to be that our make partner is the better/more inclined leader and us as ladies prefer to follow. My husband isn't in charge because he has a penis. He's in charge because we work best with him in charge. Same as all other Power Exchange dynamics. "Reverse 1950's households" (F/m) exist as well.
"Taken in hand" is different from 1950's household and there are plenty of ways to research just how different. Like many labels beginning blurred/muddied in the BDSM world, actual TiH and DD (or CDD; domestic discipline and Christian domestic discipline) traditional practitioners actually don't consider themselves to be kinky or into BDSM. They don't do it because it's sexy or it turns them. They do it because their religion tells them so.
Stepford Wife and Bimboificaton are rare. Rarely sought after and rarely done. Even so, who cares? There are so many kinks in this world. Here is a small clip about this from an essay of mine:
It's 64 years since 1950. More than half a century has passed. And while the decade has plenty to learn from and admire (think Elvis and Marilyn, women everywhere in beautiful colored dresses instead of sweatshirts and jeans, American made muscle cars and kids playing in the street until street lamps came on with no fear of abduction) there are some things we've learned over the past six decades.
Our modern day household knows:
-A brainless, spineless, cake-toting, apron-wearing Stepford Wife isn't sexy, or practical. The modern housewife should be a smart, sleek counterpart to her partner. Not only can we cook a killer meal on a dime, but we can be a positive influence on our husband. The day of be seen but not heard are gone.
-Segregation and racism are disgusting. No person is any better than another based on race. 1955 was the year of Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King Jr. was coming on the scene. We all need to work together and continue to end racism worldwide.
-Feminism, and specifically the women's liberation movement of the late 60's, is something to be celebrated. Women are, and should be, an equal gender. I am grateful that both i have a right to live this lifestyle, and that other women have the same right to live another way.
-Families come in all shapes and sizes now, and that's a good thing. Some families are headed by grandparents, some by a single parent, some women have powerful careers and their spouse stays home, some have two dads, some have two moms and a dad. Et cetera. How boring would life be if not? As long as a household is full of happiness and love, it's considered good in my book. Our house is one way, not the RIGHT way, and we are raising our children to see the beauty in difference, in embracing diversity.
Finally, to address this awful last paragraph filled with vitriol.
"Traditional housewives didn't have BDSM sex you fucking freak. My grandmother didn't even know where her fucking clitoris was. Your children should not be involved in your sex life or your fantasy, your entire life should not revolve around your fetish to the point where it's integrated in with how you view the world and how you view gender."
Traditional households have a rich history of Power Exchange, both M/f and F/m, across the globe. And you never know what goes on behind closed doors; the leather movement itself was born post WWII in the very decade if which we speak. Bettie Page? The fact that you claim to know your grandmother's sexual experience unnerves me a little, but I want to encourage you to stop making assumptions about what you do or do not know about other functioning households.
You seem very angry over hypothetical unborn children when there are many horror stories of children's abuse happening in non-kinky households right now, probably in your own neighborhood. I truly hope that you can find some understanding and peace here. If you'd like to make an impact, may I suggest doing something positive with your time like volunteering at a local shelter for abused women and children. Or you could speak/educate on safety within your local BDSM community.
There are many horrible situations out there. Finger pointing, name calling, and judgement are not the solutions.