Can/should I use my real name and number? I am unverified and have no references since I haven't done this before so I feel like I'd need to share this info with a provider to make up for not having references.

I have a prepaid cell phone for the hobby. I don't give out my real number.

I'm not married or in a relationship so my concern with using my real name / number is blackmail or extortion against my job/family. Is this paranoia considering the providers I'm finding are well reviewed on TER?

Nobody can really answer that 100% obviously. But unless you're Bill fuckin Gates or something, most of these chicks are making more money than us combined, and won't be bothered with blackmailing you.

What is the best way to get started from scratch? Is it as easy as just getting verified on P411?

I started with p411. but honestly, it wasn't even necessary. i used p411 for my first encounter.

after that, i found an agency and they never even verified me. I just showed up and they verified me on the spot. after that, i just used that agency as my reference.