Ugh, my husband used to tell me that all the time, "You just have accept her as she is. Be the bigger person. She's mentally ill, you're not." I told him the only thing being the "bigger person" got me was more opportunities to be the "bigger person" because nothing changed, SIL got to behave however the fuck she wanted and I got hurt over and over again.

So we're having this argument on morning, after Thanksgiving with his family, when his sister had announced to everybody that I was going to take her to the movies the next day, when I had agreed to no such thing and actively avoided any activity that would leave me alone with SIL. DH told me yeah, it was manipulative, but it would "look bad" if I didn't take her to the movies because I didn't have plans that day and I had no excuse not to take her other than I didn't want to. And I should just suck it up, be the bigger person, and take her. I said the only thing that got me was bad treatment. DH said I got the knowledge that I was a better person.

So I took his coffee out of his hands, dumped it out in the sink. He said, "HEY!"

I said, "Well, I've decided I don't like it when you drink coffee and i'm going to pour it out every time I find you drinking it. You should just accept me as I am and be the bigger person and forgive me. But hey, at least you know you're the better person."

DH: "What the fu- OH."