I hate the idea that the only way to be vegan should be to maximize your value as an ambassador for the movement.

Not wearing a tshirt that says "eat pussy, not animals" is pretty far removed from making every decision careful and calculated or being an earthling ed clone. My point wasn't about maximizing your value to the movement, it was specifically about being detrimental to the movement.

There is no wrong way to be vegan.

There are wrong ways to do anything. If your way of being vegan deters others from being vegan, then you are detrimental, not beneficial to the movement outside of your personal consumption.

For instance, I think it's wrong of vegans to have a "I won't eat meat or dairy, but if others do it that is okay because it is their personal choice." That only validates the non-vegan's line of thinking, because they got a vegan to agree with them.