I am sorry you have gone through this. My partner has bipolar - for them, the best thing is medication. When they are on their medication, they don’t go so high that it’s mania, and when they are low it’s mostly a bit of crying - and maybe every few days to weeks it might switch. When they are not medicated they can go in and out of mania some days none and sometimes 3 or 4 times, and the when the lows come they don’t get out of bed for days. They have never been physically aggressive to me, there has been a few times where they are inconsolable, screaming, slamming things, leaving the house in this state for space from me and frankly, looking like a crazy person on the street. When they are in this state though they are disoriented and have disassociated. The first time when I didn’t understand their mental illness as well, and I didn’t know they were off their medication or how important that was, I triggered them unknowingly and this normally would have been small, but it was massive, sprialy. and a bit scary. The emotion took over and it was no longer about what I had said or directed at me.

I have no advice really. I think you should go to therapy, if you have trauma from another relationship you need to begin to heal from that, but also if you want this to work, therapy may help, like a soundboard. I think it’s great his mom is flying him home to start treatment, don’t be afraid you won’t see him again, be so happy he is getting the medicine and balancing those chemicals out. If your the love of his life like he is yours, he will be back.