Do not attempt to talk to her again. Don’t send any long texts or letters. Move on.

You asked her out, things got confused, and she said that she just wanted to be friends. You’re damaging the chance that you ever could be friends. Friends don’t send out really long texts or letters unless something is horrible wrong, and the nature of your communication is romantic, not platonic friend like.

It’s highly likely that you’re scaring her. How could you have these feelings for someone when you haven’t dated and rarely see watch other?

You’ve attached yourself to her in an unhealthy way and you need to stop.

At the Christmas party talk to everyone else that’s there. If she wants to talk to you she will make an attempt. If you make eye contact with her don’t go any further than a wave hello, and then go about talking to other people.