I just didn't have any solid sense of direction or advice till recently. My goal is to escape and escape somewhere better, I spent quite a long time at the hands of my parents and they were just well people that weren't so nice.

I'm American and I can talk about moving if you're curious but honestly life here isn't that much different for me than it was in the US there are still crazy Toxic people, rules that don't make sense and are arbitrarily enforced, and still dumb politics (you don't hear about it cause c'mon NL is small). Media blows stuff out of proportion for clicks and don't underestimate how jarring it can be to move somewhere new with little no support network. This is also a hard place to integrate into, with very long dark rainy days, low salaries, and problems follow you wherever you go.

check r/iwantout and some of the Dutch Expat threads if you want to hear more about some people's experience.