I live in a country without foodstamps, even if I did i have no idea how I would get them since i'm not 18. If I was to go into my mums room and ask her about it she probably wouldn't be able to comprehend what the fuck i was talking about and start shouting explicitives at me. My mom had lung cancer from her smoking when I was very young. I was never even told this and have only realized this after having flashbacks recently. And yes I am breathing in second hand smoke. Even before I was born I was breathing in smoke. I've thought of trying to tell my mum about the fact I have asmtha and I could just die in my sleep one day due to the fact smoke seeps into my room when she smokes and on the rare occasions why I leave my room but she doesn't understand or care. As for school I'm not sure why this school year wouldn't be as bad as the others. At least in previous years I've had friends. All the friends I've ever had have either left my school or just forgotten about me just like my siblings have. I don't blame them honestly, I have nothing to talk to them about as I have no real interests, I'd usually small talk them and then realize they don't care about me and stop. I thank you for taking the time out of your day to respond to me but I don't think I can go on. The only thing that's been stopping me from commiting suicide in the past is not having the means to guarantee I would die and not end up a vegetable. Over the last couple of years I've been building up a collection of pills, I've taken a single pill from every sort of medication I could ever find all sorts of pills and mostly now expired I'm assuming. If It gets to monday at 00:00 and my life hasn't changed (no reason why it would but there's always hope) I'm probably just going to dissolve all the tablets into a glass of water and hope it's enough to stop my heart.