My dog is literally the only living being who would miss me. He keeps me going everyday. I get your pain & have been so low I could never describe. May I suggest a pet of some kind, even a goldfish needs food & a clean bowl: or a charity that needs you weekly, like a food bank? May sound stupid, but it does help to know, you have to get up & care for another being, that you have to be accountable to to someone of some kind. That helps me a LOT!!! I used to think it didn't, but after the pandemic hit, & where I worked, I try to take my self-pain & focus on others who need help. I know it's not the healthiest, but it gets me through the worst days.