Oh man, are you me? (except for the 6 am workout, mine is during lunch hour at work)

Today is supposed to be the first day for me. I have been struggling with this decision for a while, for pretty much the same reasons you are. I make enough money now to indulge the whole month any time. Living in the netherlands makes it a bit harder to stop too when there is even no risk or downside and its literally available at the shop down the street.

What is now helping me justify it is an even more expensive hobby. I spend around 400 to 500 euros a month on weed now. Since summer has started I have been getting into skydiving, and that shit is an expensive drug. If I really want to enjoy it, I will have to cut cost somewhere, and that is going to be smoking.

So as of today, I am starting to cross days out at 15 euros/day of saving and try to look at it everyday as how much I have saved by not smoking.

To address the personal part of it; my girlfriend also used to smoke, and we actually both quit last year for a while. I got back after a few months but she didnt. She says she doesnt mind it but I know she would rather me be a bit more "energetic" outside of work. I do think keeping it up will eventually create a distance that will become much harder to overcome as it grows.

And regrading you wanting to stop, you don't want to stop, but you should. That is pretty much what an addiction is. You only think you have free will, but damn it ive seen some olympics level mental gymnastics by my own brain even i was amazed.

If you want to know if you really to stop or not, then give it up for 6 months to a year. If not, you can start again and you can tell yourself that if you really want to stop, then you can.