One time I was watching TV late at night (shift worker night off) and I had my front door open for airflow because it was summer and I didn't have AC. Some random obviously high dude walked into my house with no pants and his legs covered in mud/faeces.

I chased him out and called the cops because while it was the least scary home invasion ever it still feels like like you should call the cops about home invasions. The two cops showed up at my house, an older dude and a younger woman and took my statement. The younger female officer was obviously trying not to piss herself laughing. Clearly this was the best call out of her night and I assume from her very youthful experience that she was new to the job.

The older dude just kept getting more and more pissed off about the whole thing. Because he'd realised that if they found the asshole, they'd have to presumably lay hands on the shit covered man, and then presumably put him in their car. You could see the experience in his eyes and that he was pre-emptively traumatised by this fucking awful call.