What a mess. I'm sensing a sexist undertone with the way you deal with women. Starting with assuming someone is "a bitch" (and actually using that word to describe your perception of her to a female centric message board) because they didn't warm to you straight away.
Firstly, no. Your initial impression has skewed your overall perception of the situation; I'm sure my delivery and diction haven't helped. I assumed she was a mean person ;) because she had RBF and, in a class of 7 people where probably 5 of us were close and that involved a lot of interpersonal communication (foreign language class; I've taken them for years, and her behavior was abnormal), she remained very standoffish with most of us, girls included.
Kind, casual texting is not necessarily "light flirting" and her not actively wanting to spend any time with you says even more that she may have simply been chatting, rather than flirting. Seems like this might've started as a one way crush because she showed general interest in you. A woman being nice or pleasant isn't always romantic interest. You also say you "stopped chasing" her. So you assumed you two were automatically heading toward dating based on some nice texts and jokes? Or was there actual talk about dating/interest?
Slow your roll. I'm well aware of all of these things, and I'm well aware of the difference between texting and flirting. I stopped pursuing her because I assumed she had no interest, and I'm not interested in forcing my presence or communication upon someone who has no interest in seeing or talking to me.
I spared you all of the details. Her unwillingness to hang out was because she assumed I lived with/always hung out with/was asking by proxy for our classmate and my friend Will, who was 23-24 at the time and she only 18 (I was 20); she assumed this because I often was with Will, and asked if she wanted to hang out with us (figuring she would as a classmate, considering several of us did the same thing). He also talked to her on his own time, and asked her to accompany him to a formal (the kind that involves heavy drinking and usually sex, though he had no intentions of his own as he was interested in another girl who was going with someone else). She made clear to him that she had different expectations of their friendship, and that she was not interested in him.
I've spoken to girls before, I know the difference between light flirting and casual texting and jokes, and I had the privilege of seeing her communication with another individual in the same peer group– night and day. No apologies, not the same levity, not the same level of engagement or interest.
So....why are you continuing to date someone you know is dysfunctional, hasn't changed and who you seem to know will make life/your relationship difficult again at some point? Isn't this just asking for more trouble, stress, fights, paranoia etc?
Nipsey had a very strong shift in personality after she came back from her time abroad. I made very clear to her that if life together reverted back to her constant beratement and intransigence, it would be over. Regardless of what had happened between us (emotionally abusive towards me, but that would be another story), I still loved her and frankly, I still do.
Dude, that's a common phrase. It's not flirting. You had a girlfriend, if you were that easily swayed by other women at this point, you shouldn't have been dating someone! Also you are not entitled to "light flirting" with other women while you're in a relationship just because you believe it's "your nature". That's code for "I'm a scumbag, deal with it". Either casually date or leave women alone. Don't play around like this. Not cool.
Tone suggested otherwise. Not a moron. You're assuming I'm a sexist pig who thinks that any girl who's nice to me is automatically in love with me; I don't. I don't tell them how beautiful they are, but I tease them. I've teased people (good-naturedly and about their good qualities vs as a bully) my whole life; my parents tease my sister and I as well as each other all of the time, it's something my family does. I even tease my guy friends. With girls, it comes across as flirting as I have been told as much. I like warm relationships between people, and that's how I foster them.
This is where that misinterpretation is leading you astray.
The reason you're confused is you keep kidding yourself. It was just eye contact, it could've meant anything. Also wasn't it a huge sign you and Nipsey weren't suited to each other if you're feeling intense emotions about another woman?
Again, you're downplaying this based on your notion that I'm a sexist pig and I use women. I did not feel intense emotions of love or anything of the sort, but we locked eyes in a way that penetrated me wayyy down into my soul, and in a good way if that's unclear. There's no description for it, but it was something that had never happened before and has never happened since.
You know what mature people do? They say "That's inappropriate to mention in front of me". Done, simple. You sound like one of those people who says "I hate drama" while causing it. Why do you want to be with a woman who thinks that's at all appropriate and who you felt the need to "get back at"? Are you looking to land in another equally dysfunctional relationship as the one you have with Nipsey?
Considering we were 21 and 19, that's a great commentary, but you're editorializing again based on your false perception of me as a pig. You assume it was with malice or with some kind of negativity that I wanted to "get back" at her.
Like I said, I tease. We teased. We liked to fire back at each other. Abnormality for you is not the same for me or another. I know Susan, and she was testing the waters with me to see how I would react.