You do you what you believe is best for your marriage. But my husband (31m) and I (30f) have an agreement we spoke of in the beginning of our relationship. We are a lot of first for the other and we both understand when you don't have a lot of other experiences the curiosity may possibly one day get the best of the other. So we agreed that if this were to ever happen and the wrong doer instantly regrets it and made a promise to themselves to not repeat the mistake, we trust the other enough to not repeat the mistake. Good people do bad things. I wouldn't be with my husband if i thought he was a bad person and i trust his discretion and his ability to assess himself in a situation. And i trust that if it were anything more than a mistake that he would inform me.

Why did we have this conversation? BC once trust is gone, its gone forever. I don't want to loose what i have with my husband (including my trust and faith in him) over a mistake. Even if trust appears to be back in a relationship... Its not. Its always in the back of the hurt one's head.

I'm not saying don't tell her... I am just sharing this, idk, to maybe just share another couples' opinion on this sort of unfortunate situation.