I was going to downvote, but I thought about it for a bit.

I know a woman who found it worse when people tried to tell her she was raped. She insists she wasn't. It wasn't consensual sex, but it also wasn't non-consensual either. It wasn't violent. It didn't scar her. It wasn't a big deal to her. She was drunk, half out of it, and wished someone had gotten her out of there. The way she described it to me was that she would have wanted someone to get her out of there anyway, to keep from vomiting, passing out, or trying to get home. It was as consequential to her as those other things. People telling her she was raped upsets her because she finds it so condescending and judgmental. Either you're saying she's slutty and thinks nothing of sleeping with random guys or you're saying she is too stupid to think for herself.

I also know a woman who was raped inside of her relationship repeatedly. She felt like she "had" to have sex because thats what "girlfriends" do. She also was upset far more about what happened after than during. She allowed herself to be dumb, she hated it. People were dismissive of her. It deeply affected her to be in that situation and she was made to feel like it shouldn't matter to her. Going through it was one thing, but being told to just get over it was worse for her.

I bring up these two stories because I think your comment has some merit. I believe our framing of rape affects how it is experienced. If you're told no yes means no, that rape is the worst in the world, that every person out there is will rape you, and you're made to feel like a victim before even being one, you'll probably experience it far more deeply than someone who has never had their value tied to sexual purity and has not been taught to feel ashamed of sexuality. However, if someone feels like a victim, I don't want to just tell them they're "not." Sex absolutely should be consensual. Every person should have the expectation that it will be. Even someone with the most liberal sexual attitude still finds it deeply upsetting. It violates trust.