This is why I feel bad giving a criticism sometimes. I can see where the problems are, but I can't always solve them. Anything you write has to be specific to you and my suggestions are usually what I would do. And that probably won't work for you (it barely works for me!).

I would say this: I know there are some things you don't feel comfortable writing about. I don't blame you. That having been said, someone making a profile is opening themselves up to an extent (he said to the guy who just got critiqued). When you dodge a question, you're really saying that you don't feel it's worth the effort, which makes a bit of a mockery of their effort. It's better than a generic zero effort non-answer answer (living it, if you want to, etc.), but not by much. Just answer the question. She did it. You should do it, too.

Find a way to make the entire thing into more of a narrative about yourself. If your profile can kinda tell a story, all the better.

That early sentence where you say that you're not actually an alien is flat and pointless. It turns into a good joke if, for most private section, you instead admitted that you're actually an alien. That way you turn a flat line into an eventual laugh and provide a non-answer for a section you don't want to do that comes off as entertaining and shows your style of humor.

In your message me if section, don't put qualifiers (that's what I meant about XYZ). The last thing you want to do is give someone a reason to disqualify themselves. If she doesn't think she's attractive enough, that's a chance gone. You're looking for someone intelligent, and you're working on a Ph.D. That might make a lot of women think the bar might be a little high.

Get rid of generic stuff that everyone does. Everyone says they're laid back. Most dudes play video games. That's not special. What makes you different? And some qualities, while admirable, are not going to help. Being hard working is great, but it's not interesting. No woman ever went out with a guy because he can "knuckle down". if you can't tell why you're interesting enough to go out with, then nobody will.

Start with that and see where it takes you...