[Critique Thread] Post Here If You'd Like Feedback On Your Writing

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We rally behind the flags of burning homes and blackened bones. To the call we trickle in, to learn from our past, to learn what we are fighting for. To the cry that we were diseased, we begged, but we burned. We were made sacrifice to a god who does not love us. Yet we breath still.

Betwixt your wings of faith, you lodge the remains of your kin. Kindle flames of god and love, walk upon our desires. Go ahead, tell us that you are true. Never look back, never think twice, never try again. Never struggle. Go ahead, tell us that all you have is earned. Tell it to the shambling child. Tell him the reason he digs his mother’s grave is beyond your control. Tell him he starves because there simply isn't enough food to go around. Or you could tell him the truth, tell him that he is simply paying the price. The price for your luxury. You deafen us with false claims. Of necessity.

Cruelty has bred resolve Neglect has bred resentment Genocide has bred desperation.

Bleakness has bred a revelation.

We do not need your little light in the darkness. We do not need to feed your flame to carry on. We are the ones strong enough to turn our backs against the setting sun. This is our quiet resolve.

We unite under wings of humanity, as broken and shattered as it may be, We do it honestly. We cannot tolerate the god of falsehood and gluttony, at the cost of so many. This is our resentment.

We drink the blood that trickles from the feathers, We cry from the bone-rippling pain as our bodies are curdled with rage. We fear the reflection in the water, the monster we become to see ourselves through. This is our desperation.

So here we stand, united again, an army without nation. A force without borders, and a cause beyond words, so we ask thee. Are you the cure, or are you the disease? For we were made sacrament to the hatred of your omnipotent god. And we’ve struck the first blow. Yet we stand tall.

/r/writing Thread