Mind officially blown. I just checked the link and found out that I am in the 99.97 percentile in length and girth. I am having a very difficult time believing it’s true because of watching so much porn. I always thought I was just slightly above average.

I have only had sex with one very long-term partner, who told me it was really big compared to her only previous partner who was Japanese (which South Park convinced me was not a good comparison for size.) I know this stereotype is not reality for all Asians, but it’s difficult not to get that episode out of my head whenever I think about the comparison. I also thought that my partner was just trying to compliment me.

Fortunately, she enjoys sex with me, but it does explain so much of what I was oblivious too early in our relationship. Mostly, condoms being too tight, her always wanting missionary and not wanting to give blowjobs because she says it is too big (and teeth scraping when she does).

I think it’s really fucked up that I spent so many years wishing I was bigger, almost to the point of obsession and doing “exercises.” Porn really can fuck you up.